End of the month

So fast. It comes to the end of the month.

Is end of the month, darling. How do we celebrate it? I did celebrate the last day of the month, when I was in Welly. Miao and I will go for some plans, like, watch a movie, dine outside, fish & chips plus beers, coffee & gossips, ... etc something like that.

Some plans on normal days make it unusual, also make me feel stupidly excited. I online, checking on infomation, new restaurants, promotions, events, ... that I can join. It makes me feel alive and bond to the society.

And now I am here, going out couldn't be happened as ... reasons.

Thinking of whatelse I can do?... Hmm...

Of what did I do on this month. I can say that's alot. And I am happy with the results. What's the plan for tomorrow? Next Month? I already know. ^^

Recently addicted on PC game. Game has back to my life. Long time didn't play it. When was the last times? It seems like really long time ago.

Well, finally my brother has finished his round. My turn now. See ya.

Friday

Friday
Weekend

What do you do in weekend? Or doing something, or doing nothing.
Is friday night. Finally I can have a little peace on my mind. Don't have to worry on working, stupid file in, records, invoices, bank statements, journals, petty cash, salary paid slip? I don't care how much you earned, I only care how much I get. Next month will be the third month working here. Please raise my paid, I know I might not doing very good at first. You can't deny that I am getting better now. Just sometimes, little mistakes.

Been through all week long tired working, I deserve to have something sweet, dessert. A cup of coffee and a slide of cake would be wonderful. Poorly, I got nothing here. Instant coffee? Nah. King's pandan roll? Nah. I miss Welly. Miss Welly's weekend.

I can recall back the life.
Back from work, change and wait for Miao, then we can go to down town together. I will choose to walk along the Oriental Bay if the weather is good. We meet Lydia, Hui at Reading. Move to Cha, have dinner, chatting. Then we can order a slide of cake. As I remember, last time Lydia ordered the Yam cake, Miao is Chocolate cake, and my one is Halzenut Coffee? Want second round? Coffee and tea is the place. The ice coffee there is my favourite and first choice.

I used to shop every weekend, in Welly, this is the one of must-do-things in weekend. Go to the sunday market to buy some fresh veges and fruits, the New World for glocery, the Yan's Mark to buy some snacks, noodles. And everyweek I will pick a different brand or favour of drink. Just one can a week. Just in case for a tired or moody day after work, then I can have a can of cold drink. You will feel great. Problems disappear. All good. Everything is under control. I am damn happy. And it always work.

Is time to do some shopping, mom. We run out of .... snacks. Brother wants ice-cream, me too. And i want to buy some chicken breasts, frieds, wedges, fillet fishs ... beers or wines?

I want to eat fish and chips, can we buy some corona?

Runaway

Neighbour sent me an email of the recruitment of his company. That's so kind of him, but at the current i don't think of changing job. This morning, dad asked me about that. At first, i wanted to find outside job but you guys offered me a work. Now, you want me to try other companies.

It did bother me for the whole morning, I kept thinking of should I try or not. To adapt to a new situation is not easy. I just get used to the current, arrange all plans and love the life. And now, your word make me to re-think again. Is that what I want? Apart from the work, yes, i had made my life in the way I want it to be. After work, I can be myself, doing my things. On the weekend, that's even great. As enjoyable as the day in Welly. I can make it same same as before, just the surrounding is different. Environment is not my control.

Okay, it may worth a try. Just I am not ready for that. I want improvement, before i go for something big. To work in an International firm is my target, the reason I choose to back here. However, now is not the best timing yet. I still have more to learn before I take the big step.

Finally I manage a perfect schedule, I can fully utilize the time, and you suggest me to give it a go. I realized that I don't want a change now. I mean, I don't hate changing, I like challenging. BUT, at least let me enjoy this perfect schedule of life for a period. Then, I will. When the timing is right.

Thinking of working outside, I need a secondhand car. I will have less leisure time. I have to wake up very early. I have to spend money and time on make-up and dress up. I might have to work late. I can't take a nap during break time. I have to drive. I ... Runaway

Mid Valley

Can you believe this? I been to Mid Valley forth a month, every weekend.

This time is to meet Tyne, turn out Tyne, her sister and Venus too. Long time did see Venus, she feel the same as 3 years ago. And Tyne and her sister, didn't change at all.

We watched the Race to Witch Mountain. Quite a nice movie, very funny. First times i watched The Rock's movie. I only watch him at WWF with brother, betting on who can stand until the last. And he is so funny in the movie. Not bad.

Tyne is a very very good friend to me. We are like a twin sisters in college. We always been together to class, canteen, library, tutorial. We can chat all day long, everyday except the weekend when she back to hometown. Now she is taking her final year courses with her sister.

We had prepared gift to each other, but no Venus. So when Venus paid the bill, we went out and exchanged it. It is so funny as we were doing the same thing without mention it before. And she bought me a special necklace, said for the special me. From the date of the letter, she wrote it last year. Just wonder, so she kept it until we meet?

We talked about everything, of what came to our mind, what had happened, what are funny, what must tell... Endless topics keep coming out.

Was time to go back. We separated at the KTM station, she back to Kajang, i back to Kepong. Have to go different direction, we still can't stop talking about CLP, our lecturer. Well I definately want to meet him, i have alots of question to him. It will be fun. Thinking of what should i prepare to him, we both laugh. There is always one thing can settle him. FOOD. This time also want him to treat us good meal. Haha. Bully him was our favourite activity in college. >.<

Thinking back, we really brave, to behave so naughty and abit less respect to a lecturer. That's probably the reason he so like us.

Well, really hope to meet them again. Again, wont be long.

But, not at Mid Valley again. He should have alot of places can bring us to.

Espressoholic

Since when i addicted to coffee? Since when i learnt to make coffee? Since when i started to enjoy coffee? I used to have coffee before start working. Back to here, i tried to control. Drink less coffee, drink less coffee. But recently i back to coffee everyday. In that feeling-bad day, i made a strong coffee with little condensed milk. Taste the bitter coffee like the bitter day i had. It is so match of my feeling. And i like to feel it. You give me a hard day, i taste it. Drinking the bitter coffee really made me feel better after all.

Even you had gave me alot of hard time, I still believe that tomorrow will be a better day.

Khim said that the espressoholic will be closed. Feel abit sad, because this cafe really nice. Is like a mamak for us in Welly. Where we could hang out late, got a seat to enjoy coffee and chat till late.

I remember every corner at the espressoholic. The shop will close, but the memory still.

sometimes you just couldnt find a person

Today is so not my day. I did everyting wrong. Even a simple filling file, i could write the wrong figure on it. Just to copy the old file, that simple. I did it wrong. Stamp the COPY to the photocopies page and i got it stamp to the original one. Cutting the paper to small notes and i dont realise i cut my finger. On msn, said hello to a friend and he asked who is ther? Found out that he got me deleted from the list.

Okay. Okay. I am just having a bad day. Still lucky. Sometimes you couldnt find a person to talk with and today i have 3 friends to listen to me. I just repeat to type the same stories to them. Until they all told me that they need to rest. I am tired too.

Life has driven me crazy. It did. Everyone has their own problem. Where should i start with?

Who makes the life so hard? Me? I blame no one but myself. You know it could be nothing if .... if ... If ... If everything can re-do again. I dont have to think of if-question.

I promise to make a meaningful life to myself and i dont waste a single minute. I am working on it. Everyday, every week with different targets. I do it quite well.

Neighbour uncle came to find me, he wants to get my email address so that he could send me the information of job vacancy of his office. This is really nice right. And he work in IBM, a big firm. I know this maybe a good opportunity. But just... as i am so free at the office sometimes. I had compared for the estimated salary to different situation. If i worked in that firm, i need to have at least RM2200 to cope the expenses and my espected saving. And i wil have less leisure time and i even have to consider a second-hand car to go work, which make it not wise to change the work. Facing the dillemma, i am stucked in the middle.

And i am sleepy. Everything goes wrong since i back. I have no courage to fight with the problems now. I need a rest. Tomorrow, it will not be a problem. Believe it or not? Sometimes i couldnt find a person to listen to me, and today i had 3. When the luck come back to you, you can get whatever you want. When you dare to dream, you will get what you wish.

Give up? I want a break free. Dont you say i'll be better off?

I had a bad day, it just gone.

倒在公司的饭桌上偷偷睡了五分钟

周末太忙
忙到没有时间补眠

时间是这样安排的
周六懒惰加班也不出门
在家收拾 打扫 做笔记 看电视节目 听歌
好充实 好享受

周末约了朋友逛街
他买了好多
我也收获不少
眼睛收获不少漂亮的东西

在KTM上听歌真的是很享受
好听的日本歌
虽然不懂歌词在唱什么
去欣赏它的旋律就好了

那个CANON小朋友在用手机偷拍
为什么我会知道呢？
同学 看着你就好象在看着偷拍时的自己
本小姐的经验比你丰富很多咧

老实说和弟的感觉越来越陌生
你还是好好地和她相处吧

到了教育展后才想起要帮表妹找Nursing Course
都忘了原来的目的
结果没有注意到她
没有缘
想想是觉得有点可惜

那天是累得倒在桌上睡着
今天却闷的发荒

一整天只有那么一丁点工作
你说我太烦
我就不烦你
一个人闲着没事
写写画画
薪水照拿 没少也没多
后来四点了
你嘟我电话叫我进去
你问我
在做什么
我差点忍不住气但还是忍住了
画画 我说

觉得有点小委屈
不是很明显吗？
你根本没有东西让我做

后来
那一丁点的工作又完成了
又开始发呆

拿着计算机不停的按
超不敢相信
以目前的薪水加以后的estimated salary
minus my expected saving
i only have 750 less for my following months' pocket money
the condition is i cant spend more than 700 in the July trip

DAMN... pity

with 750 divided by 9 months
further divided by 4 weeks
which mean i only can spend less than 21 in each weekend

which is so hard
but i have to make it happen

i read a very funny article, about the engagement ring

guys like to have a romantic marriage proposal
and they like to link the idea with foods
the ring in the cake, champange, pies ....
but this smart guy hide it in the Wendy's milkshake
and make it like a competition
all friends grap the spoon and wolfing the milkshake
at the end, the ring is not there
guess what?
they send the girl to hospital
and last the guy hold the X-ray with the ring, propose to the lucky girl
how funny is it

i also want a romantic proposal
but not so memorable! haha

Moody

I am starting to feel lazy. Hate it! I will really doing nothing but let the time passed by me. What can i do to stop the laziness? Putting on some new targets to fill the empty and make myself busy? Might not be a good idea because i even lazy to have new targets xP.

I feel tired. Not the body exhausted, but the brain and soul.

Right now. I don't know what to write down.

Maybe I should stop here.

I am a little bit moody. But no worries, tomorrow is a differnet day.

Just sent a message to ask for homestay at Kundasang. Hope to have good news reply soon.

And very damn! The bad news always come first.

The delivery had been rejected!
- This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification. Delivery to the following recipients failed.

Moody Moody Moody!

迷迭香

Where can find this herbal here? I really like the fragance of it.

I wont forget the first times i found this little things. I finished work in Ilott, run my way down from the small path way, passby the church, sit at the corner of X street and Y street. Waiting for Miao and writing on something. I smelt some good and fresh fragance. Then i found it.

We had an appointment with a tenant. We havent found a place and still staying at friend's house. By looking for a good job and a good place, we were so tired and abit upset by time passing. This is not the first place we went to see also not the first tenant we met. She is a Chinese, from China. To be honest i dont have good feeling on her at the first meet. However, we were tired of keep looking for a place.

With alot of bad things happened when we moved to there. We only stay there for three weeks. One week after we decided to move again. And this time, i found a lovely place, which give me a strong feel of HOME when we went to see the house. Lucky to me, this place is closed to my working firm. And soon, Miao found a job close to house too.

Even i only stayed at the Chinese Family there for 3 weeks, I have alot of memories, the bad and the good one. The place is abit far from the city, but there are many interesting shop along the street. Cafe, Bakery, Gallery, ... And Fish and Chips. I remembered one weekend, we bought some beers, and the Fish and Chips! Went back home, play a movie, and enjoy it! That's so great!
One of the best activities to do during weekend.

So what about the new place? It's awesome! Our flatmates keep changing after we moved in. That's probably usual to them. I love this place so much. No word can describe it.

Everytimes i go to work, go to town, i used the short-cut. With a long stairs down to the road, there are flowers and the little plants. During the spring, when the wind blows, i can smelt it. Strong and fragance!

I will never forget the smell, and those sweet memories. Everytimes i think of it, i feel thankful to what i have. Really appreciate.

Stick with the plan

I do not drink any coffe this week.

And I went to Mid Valley straight after breakfast, as my plan. There is a wedding show at the exhibition hall. Guess what? I so wanted to share this with someone, who used to be miao and the others. And now, I can only scream into my heart. OH LOOK! THERE IS A WEDDING EXHIBITOIN! How great is that... And end up the story.

Is not I cant tell to anyone. When I sent a message, I expect of a reply. Like I am asking you to watch a movie, you have three options. Yes, No, or Not sure yet, tell you later. However you guys always give me the reply i hate most - NO REPLY. I wont be silly to ask you again. That's hurt me to waiting for something nothing. I felt mad, angry, disrespect, and the most I felt so sad. I dont know what to say because i dont want to say anything bad that might hurt anyone. That's alright. I will learn better next times. I told myself.

I can handle all this suck feelings but at that moment, i really hope to meet up with Thao, Khim, Miao or anyone who willing to listen. Just listen to me. I dont need a commend, just a listener, not more than that.

I planned to get there early and grab the free ticket to watch Hong Kong Festival's movies. However, i should pray to have ticket left for me before i came. Free things always gone fast. Somehow, i queue to buy The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

One hour before the show, i grab a sit at the food court. Looking at the people. I do that every week in Welly, Reading Cinema. I am happy that i can still do the same thing here. Writing something on my book, of what i feel. I think of Tyne. I knew where she is, I have her number. So why wait? Send her a message! Or no... I should make a call to her. I owe her a call, i havent tell her i am back! My bad.

We talked for 10 minutes more, and made a plan to meet on next two weeks. I am so happy. Here you go! I found you! Tyne is a very special friend to me. She is funny and very funny. I am so looking forward to meet you.

Like to sit at the corner and looking at people. The family, the couples, the gang of friends, the workers, the babies.... But no handsome guys, what a pity!
Somehow, I feel alive! Love my weekend!

what can i do?

I am sorry. I wasn't ready for that. If you wanted to know how's my day going? It's suck.

Working is fine. Better than what had happened then.
I was home having dinner. Then she called to me, said don't you remember we have a plan? What plan? You just told me that. Okay. I still agree to go out. As the day still young, watching the Slumdog Millionaire is not a bad idea. I like to watch good movie. Then i wait, from 7:30pm to almost 9pm. And my time just gone like that. I was supposed to sweep and mop the house, doing the chores, and i just couldn't. I knew there must be something happend so you were late. I understand.

How long we knew each other? I have rules to follow in my house. Every family is different. And my family is different. I respect my parents, for what they constraint me to do, they are in a good point. If their idea was wrong, i will be the first to fight with them. You knew that i cant go out late, back home late... etc... For many times before, you like to ask me out at last minute. Mom did asked me many times of "what kind of friends are they?" Can't they just asked you early? With a plan or an early inform, everything can go well. I can go out with friends, no problem at all. Even went out late or overnight, they will agree. If i dont do that too frequently.

In a friend of view, take myself as an example, I will advoid to bring trouble or unconvenient to my friends. I know the rules and I wont let them break the rules. I sure will avoid it happened. They won't be a problem to meet their needs and i don't get why it's so hard for you guys. Not everyone has the same thought. I understand. Just can't feel sad and disappointed. No one is wrong.

When watching the movie, I asked you to guess whether the clue he gave is right or wrong? Who will you believe on? Just like I used to do with my family. To grab their attention and make fun of the show. That's not about whether you get it right or wrong. No contain of win or loss. It's just a guess for fun. That's simple. However, I can't stop the disappointed, as you take the win and loss so serious. The answer is not that important, i care of the process. I wish to bring you fun when you wanted to know the answer, you put more heart on it, on a thing. That's a good thing to do. You can watch a movie from start till the end with nothing happened. Or you watch a movie and someone give you a quest and you are lucky and smart so you get it correct. But what you had said to me, i feel you are more concerned on "So you get it wrong, you loss." Maybe you didnt mean that and you dont aware of that. No matter what had happend, i hope you always can focus on the good impress but not the bad side.

What a coincidence, i read an article today. It said that there are two winners in a game: The Winner and the one who enjoy the game but lose. I hope you see the connection between the story and us. As it does to me. And tonight, i cant be the winner, i wasn't expect to get that answer from you. You might will read this, and i doesn't write this to make you sad or what. It's just my feeling on it. I couldn't ask for what i think you should answer.You just be yourself. But i were hoping that you know me, you understand me. I was for a very short moment, couldn't focus on the movie and thinking of that. "Oh, Thao will get me, Miao will know that i'm just asking to make fun. Why don't you? I know that's unfair to compared and I soon get back to the screen.

Everything is fine. I just have a sad time on a day. Luckily not a whole bad day. We have been apart for quite a period, we changed. I can easily share my days, my thoughts, my feelings to somebody, but can't do that to you guys. I am so sad about this but it's true. I so wanted our relationship can keep as the old day. However, the more i hope, the serious i suffer, the deepest i get hurt...

称赞我

事情是这样子的

昨晚熬夜看ROMEO&JULIET
第一次看这部电影
之前一直很想要看可是每一次播出的时间都不合
昨天坚持熬夜也要看完
真的蛮感动的沙斯比亚

然后今天早上差点睡不醒
很匆忙地赶上车去吃早餐
到点心店坐下
那个男生就走过来问
要吃什么？AUNTY， UNCLE, 靓女
哇！
酱会讲话？
心情好像在做直升机
只有升没有降

然后一整天的心情都好好哦
好久都没有被人这么称赞了
有种想反问他你要不要我的电话号码的白痴冲动

很想每天都有人称赞
心情每天都很好那就好了

我不贪心
一天有一个称赞就够了
>.<

称赞我！

an email to thao

dear my caramel latte,

I agree!
after read ur mail
i wanted to say: Totally agree with what you said about LOVE.
i guess we can only make a cup of coffee, sit and wait for him to knock our door. HAHA >.<

is that the same time when you missing me, i have a strong feeling of you during working.
maybe the law of attraction has lead our mind together
still having the pink cristal that i gave you?
i put my one in my pocket everyday
hold it on my hand
to remind me what i want in life

about friends
i will do my part well, be a provider, if i could be helped
about family
i will do my best to bring them happiness
about love
i wait! haha

my job is about accounting.
want to gain some experience first
economic going down now
my salary is so little
now i work 5 day per week
weekend still weekend and i can go out walk walk
in shopping centre not along the oriental bay or lampton quay, manners mall to courteney place
just that different
just THAT different

i hope i can keep doing ok here

tell you one funny thing
this morning when i was in my dad's car, going to work
he talked to me
he said
you working on mon to fri
fri's night you hang out with your friends
and saturday you go shopping
sunday you CAN go to the park, doing some exercise or breathe some fresh air
you are getting fat!!!
luckily you didnt stay long in nz
if not it could be worsen....

blar blar blar....
what the ....
thanks for being so honest to me
BUT!
didnt you realise that i am currently on a diet?
didnt you see that i am working on it?
why you have to ruin my mood in the early morning
oh dad....

hahaha
i dont know to be laugh or sad
i felt both

ok ok
i know im putting on weight even i do not eat alot, but still
and i did do exercise twice a day
just not in front of you and you didnt know that doesnt mean that i didnt do

you know i read a funny article today
the title is BEAR HUG
it said that TIME listed three different hugs in favour these days
the first is the full frontal which is
total body contact, heart-to-heart ambrace and firm squeeze.
(for parents. children and good friends, like us)

the second is the butt-out-hug
described as nothing touches below the shoulders.
(reserved for the office and bad dates)

the third is the hip-hop hug also called the man hug and hetero hug
shake with right hand and hug with left, two slaps on the back.

the whole article is funny with examples
after reading this
i hope i can give you a hug
just like we used to

see how much i miss you

moon is caffeine-free this week
no coffee or tea on tea time

doing this with no reason
remember we have maori week in nz
this week is my caffeine-free week
and make-up-free week (coz i am lazy to do that xP)

miss illot's sandwiches

have a good day ^^

make me child again

the 'role models' is playing
really funny movie

if could i wish to fade into the mist

recently it raining everyday
i dont hate rainy day indeed i like it
thunder is beautiful especially at night
the light is amazing

read this article today
make me child again
ya
even i am now the age of adult
i wish to keep the young heart

昨天看了一下六楼后座这部电影
一开始看到这个名字还以为是恐怖片
这部电影很有意思
SUZY说来玩个游戏
拿一个玻璃瓶
写下你的愿望
一年内做不到就要吃屎
哈哈
真的很严肃的惩罚

三月
给自己定了一些目标&RULES
要读完李嘉诚全传
每天都看英文报
一定去看THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
每天早上都要打扫
。。。
如果做不到要怎么惩罚自己？
做不到就要吃屎？
想到都怕怕
不可以对自己食言
不可以骗自己

0103

三月一日
又是周日
上一次blogging原来已经一个礼拜了

原本有想过。。
都不敢说计划，打算过。。要怎么过今天
计划永远都赶不上变化
做了算话
不是说了算话

有想过要去看一场电影
醒来都十点了
爸又出去了
没人送我到KTM
排得来买戏票都浪费很多时间了
不划
所以决定呆在家

呆在家很幸福
前天熬夜
和朋友聊天
很开心
昨天回到家
累垮
果然人老了
一天不如一天
想说午睡一休
三点陪妈去逛JUSCO
结果从一点睡到五点
不夸张

然后一整晚不停看戏

很难得地没有人打扰
遥控器由我掌控
坚持看到眼睛都睁不开
也不过11：30？
还是1：30？
没有什么印象

上个礼拜打扫时扫出火花
罢工一个礼拜
应该够了

最近弟养成一个很不好的习惯
有事没事就很喜欢捏我的手臂
说什么肉肉地很好捏
@￥…&#%￥@×￥#@+#￥～
简直是嫌命长
没礼貌

回来后觉得外面的食物没什么吸引力
点心？大餐?什么的
都没什么想吃的冲动

我觉得我烤的面包才好吃
KAYA BUTTER TOASTS + SOY MILK
BEST MATCH BREAKFAST
每天吃都可以

想说什么呢？
每一个月的最后一天是我的反省日
昨天的我
已经忘了曾经的习惯
没有打开日记一页一页地看
然后做一个总结
没有那种坚持
没有那种心情
好烂的生活
枯燥无味得不想再重看

起床后习惯抬脚
让脑袋苏醒
看着墙上的画
觉得很开心
很想找回那种感觉
之前还都相信只要在给多一点去适调
还是可以回到从前的生活

结果真的又回到从前
只是比更好以前
更早更糟的从前

只好接受
只好接受以前的美好跨越不了
在这里没办法继续
带不了幸福
反而越坚持
越多烦恼
这些只有经历过的人才明白的感觉
像一张黑纸中的一点白
空洞　没有依靠

这一个礼拜发生了一些事情
不算严重
好像没有什么事情可以说严重了
人生　就是这样
事情不断发生
见多了经历多了
也不过如此而已
伤心就哭
开心就笑
生气就骂

对得起自己就好
每天醒来就会对自己说
今天也要过的精彩
曾经对自己要求过活得精彩
也真的有一段非常精彩的生活
每一天都充满期待
每一天都有意想不到的事情
每一天都有从天而降的幸福
那一段时间真的很瞎
真的很疯狂

想起也觉得很好玩
>.<

回不到从前
就创造未来吧
大家都为自己的事情在忙

总结上个月
三月的目标是
活得精彩

0103
人生
未完待续