甜筒

我想起那天同事请我吃的甜筒
而且还是巧克力口味的
很好吃

突然很想吃甜筒
不是一盒盒的那种冰淇淋
不是一支支的那种冰棒
是甜筒

咬一口
那种幸福的感觉真的是
会胖也值得

>.<

如果明天幸运的话
或许可以来一支
噢!
想到都开心

保温瓶

最近有褒菊花茶
热热的茶装进保温瓶后可以带着上班
小休的时候可以喝口茶 多好

很喜欢茶一倒出来的时候
会有一团热气 像烟一样飘散
让人觉得很暖

也想起在那里的冷天
空气像结冰
一呼一吸的同时还会起雾
好怀念

然后就爱上了保温瓶

某一天
我想我会
偷偷地泡好一壶茶 或 巧克力
还是 咖啡 都无所谓
准备一点吃的 小点心 最好是蛋糕 xP
然后搭车上云顶
找一个好角落 好风景
慢慢欣赏
好好地想想
计划一下 下一个停泊站

听起来好吸引

相信很快就会有这个时间 ^^

一个保温瓶的联想
一个新的冒险

P/S: 希望最后带去的不会是酒

亲密

香港电影<亲密>好像是一部很不错的片子
用backward的手法来拍摄
听起来很特别
我也喜欢时光倒流

我有很多亲密的物品
我的手机 手提 黑色包包 粉色水晶 笔记 手册 笔 水瓶 钥匙圈... 等等... 是我的出门必带
噢噢.. 还有两个很重要的 钱包 和 零钱袋
不然怎么出门? 这里又不是熟悉的Welly.

工作上
我的亲密战友--
Photo machine, Stapper, Punch, Glue and Pen.
真的谢谢那架复印机
它被点名的次数比我还要多
有时候它比我还忙, 还重要
最了不起Stapper and Punch
像两兄弟常常用得着
因为我觉得用浆糊比较环保
少用一点钉子嘛..
却没有耐性一张一张汽油单去给它贴
我的随身笔记可以让我随时随心所欲的写写画画
所以笔是一定要有的啦

回到家可以有什么消遣?
电视 手提式 我的房间
我可以看电视节目
我可以上网杀时间
我可以关在房间涂鸦

反正可以做的事情多得是
只要没有时间懒惰
就可以和生活很亲密

你说对吗?

Di, let's stop playing.

Are we silly?
Little brother and I just sit beside each other.
And we have a new deal of ...
Chatting in msn, no talking just typing.
I think I am crazy, why should I do this with him?

Di, let's stop playing... fools

No matter what...
I have a great day.
Tomorrow is Labour day which mean, no working! Hurray!! I felt like to have a holiday. Working is the same boring even I have something to do now. So, I guess the problem is not the job, is myself. This is not the dream job I want. I want to make coffee, chatting with customers, I want to open a Cafe!

Today, I am happy. Miao has came to KL for job interview. But I hope she can get Singapore work simple because Singapore is compared more safer than Msia. Anyway, I think I will meet her tomorrow or Sunday. ^^

And, finally Ah-Ra had reply me. I miss her more that I could say. It seems she is doing well there. I am glad for her. Even she didn't pass the text, I am sure that she will make it next time.

Today is such a good day. xP

---------

Bucket lists又少一件事情了
今天有很多东西忙
开心 ^^

又提早放工
更棒

只是..
万万没有想到..
他竟然把我踢给邻居
要邻居送我回家
而且这个邻居我..
没有见过
也不认识

然后他就走了..

真的是超尴尬的
我都不懂要说什么好
习惯地闭上嘴什么都不说
还好不塞车回家只需5分钟

不然我都不懂要说什么好
好尴尬噢...

回到家
惊魂未定
却突然想起
我的bucket lists上
有一项这么地写着
Free-ride home by a stranger..
虽然他是邻居
可是他对我来说也是不熟悉的陌生人
所以...
最后裁决..
成立!!

真的没有想到
可以这样达成的
看来law of attraction又继续进行中
华丽的冒险..ing

不服氣宣言

想想想

我不甘心
為什麼要被你誤會
每一次
每一次

我不會輸的
我要證明我是愛你的
明天我一定早起
為你準備早餐與午餐

我不會被你打敗的
你的固執
總有一天
會方下錯誤的堅持

我相信我自己
我是對的
你是錯的

啊啊啊
太可惡了

我們可不可以不吵架?

Knowing

有誰可以告訴我

明天會不會Moody Monday?
後天能不能出門?
禮拜三能看Two Days One Night嗎?
星期四會忙嗎?
Friday可以提早下班嗎?
Weekend有Party嗎?
週末可以不用當Part-Time家庭女佣?

夢醒以後
還記得Knowing的那艘太空船嗎?
外星人的翅膀像天使

朋友說
有些人不能接受它的結局
可是我很喜歡這樣的安排

絕望
然後重生
一切從零開始
是我想要的

沒有什麼不好
就好像雨天
讓一切洗淨

為什麼下雨天就不能出門呢?
我以前很不能接受這樣的命令
我喜歡雨天
雨天有什麼不好嗎?
它被賜予機會重生
從新開始

很多人都等不到這個機會
為什麼你看不透

曾經想和你好好相處
容忍你的不能容忍
然而
然而我卻做不到

明天我們會和平相處嗎?
或是互不說話?
或許安靜地過
比較合適

我不想有一天會對你厭倦
放棄對你的容忍
不計代價的對你
我做得到嗎?
卻真的不能平衡心中的秤
像在懲罰自己
或許這一切都是我的罪

一陰一陽
一黑一白
世界就是這樣維持着

一物克一物
我牽制着你
你牽制着我
這樣公平吧?

如果可以
我希望可以對你更好

1+1=3

每次都習慣來一杯咖啡
才慢慢來寫寫
可是那些三合一咖啡真的不好喝
味道很糟

有緣就認識了你
感覺當時的你很可愛
很純真

一直都斷斷續續地
保持聯繫

我覺得我們的關係像
一加一 等於三

喜歡和你聊天的時候
喜歡你的體貼
喜歡你的靦腆
喜歡你的幽默
喜歡你的細心

一點一點地累積

可是
成長一直是進行式
我們都在改變

慢慢地
關係不再複雜了

這樣也好
不用對一個人過度關心
不用把自己搞得太累
不用想太多

真的謝謝你
給過我
1+1=3的關心
那時候的你真的很sweet

任何時候想起
都覺得很幸福

不奢求什麼
只希望你過得好
有什麼事情

保持聯絡

小回憶

昨夜
漆黑的天空沒有星光
電臺的歌不怎麼讓人感動
並沒有週末的狂歡
狂躁的心倒是快逃獄了

城市燈光閃爍
卻沒有讓我心動
開始逃離

喜歡閃着紅光的星星
小時候坐在回家的路上
會有飛機飛過
每一晚的同一個時候
我習慣坐在司機座的後座
把臉貼在玻璃上
看着它一閃一閃
直到看不到

後來
這些小回憶
我都藏起來了

昨夜
天空裡的一點紅
把它帶到盒子的最上層
我貼着玻璃
看着它一閃一閃地
直到看不清

山上的風景的確比較美
我靜靜地聽你們說
開始駛出狀況外

點了一杯冰咖啡
我暗暗地希望這會是這一輩子喝過最難喝的ice coffee

很想念
那裡的冷空氣
無情的冷風
卻吹出溫度
常常將我包圍
保護着我

遇見一個和你很像的人
我目不轉睛地注視着
反反復復地想

不如我們回去吧?

現在問你會不會太遲?

under the vase

i had a dream last night
i was searching around
finding on something i dont know what it is
have no clue on what i am looking at
and i saw you at the opposite side of me
looking at something too
there is a big vase in front of you

i said
look under the vase

under the vase?
what is under the vase?
with this question
i awake from the dream

took a cold shower

i try to clear up my mind

listen to SWEET ABOUT ME
the lyric sing,
the world is better place when it's upside down

when i sad...

dear

when i sad
i watch a sad movie to cry
when i sad
i play a sad song repreatly to cry
when i sad
i sit at a corner hug my legs to cry
when i sad
i take a long bath and cry
when i sad
i pretend to sleep hug the pillow and cry
when i sad...

when i sad
i read your message to smile
when i sad
i recall back the memory with you to smile

i dont need to say alot
but you know me right

that's why i cant stop loving you

好吧

他也說你的雞排比較好吃
這也是我教你的
青出於藍的榮譽
沒有關係
說到吃
還是你比較厲害

好吧
沒有什麼的
的確是你比較會

其實你很聰明
真的聰明的那種人

就是因為太聰明
你的選擇
我沒有說什麼

很久沒有和你有這麼好的互動了
反正
你還是你
我還是我
像小時候一樣
都沒有變

好吧
看你今天這麼乖
就幫你打掃房間吧

那個早晨

還記得我們一起看日出的那個早晨嗎?
不是因為徹夜沒睡
我們可是特地起個大早
從山上走到海邊

那天風很大
很冷
我喜歡那時候我們的瘋狂
雖然那次沒有看到完美的日出
可是我們還是等待

等到我們都發現等待原來是個錯誤
等到我們想起太陽是從東邊昇起的

一切都太遲了
雖然第一次也是最後的一次
雖然沒有看到日. 出.
但那天我們也玩的很開心
共同的回憶又多了一個

謝謝你陪我一起瘋狂
我知道當時我沒有一個人的勇氣

當時有你 真好

後來我們
好像直沖回家 大睡一場吧

後來的後來
也不重要了

中暑了

世界末日我也不會哭
頭痛 我會哭

討厭生病
傷風鼻子敏感是常客
不想習慣也已經習慣

小時候常生病
醫生護士都看很熟了

長大後少生病
一病就很痛苦
最討厭頭痛
頭痛真的讓人想哭

才晒了一點太陽
就中暑了
頭痛得不得了
一直流冷汗

在那裡的那兩年裡都沒有大病過
突然覺得自己好幸運

生病真的好可憐
中暑 好可笑
我都不敢告訴別人

從來都愛不上這裡的太陽
太. 熱. 情. 了. . .

OneTreeHill

有聽過One Tree Hill嗎?
有看過One Tree Hill嗎?

我說的
是Auckland一個Park上的那顆One Tree Hill
是Dunedin火車之旅那個可愛老人說的翻版One Tree Hill
是電視劇那個One Tree Hill

這三個One Tree Hill
我有聽過
也有看過

我想我找到新的定位了
我要向Peyton學習
我喜歡她的勇敢與懦弱
喜歡她的瘋
喜歡她的狂

式日

痛苦是 回憶強行霸佔思緒
為什麼就不能學習做自己呢?

馬尾在風中搖擺
被吸引的人們
對你微笑

為什麼 為什麼 現在還不懂
剪刀拿在手裡
剪斷了那些編織物
今天天氣真好
真好是個天氣

未來不再有意義
我是多麼的無助
我無話可說

我可以生活
有人在大聲笑
今天真是陽光明媚
我不停的揉搓我的手臂
不停的揉搓直到我感覺到
感覺到了溫暖
這裡一切都很好

不能哭
大地無邊
美麗環繞着我
我在歌唱

穿着純白的裙子
人們的隊伍離我很遠

我可以為了今天的雨而哭泣

你知道明天是什麼日子嗎?
明天 是我的生日

當一個人住

我想我比較喜歡一個人生活
一個人住

我的家會是白色的
黑色的木制鞋架
軟軟的地毯
暗褐色的沙發
一黑一白的木質椅子

冰箱很重要
冰箱裡頭必有的:
酒精飲料
茶類飲料
甜爆米花
雪糕
水果
蔬菜
豆腐
... 待加

又到時候打掃了
白日夢中場休息

Electricity short

After the rain. Electricity short. I call to TNB, guess what, I am in the queue No.7

The second times I call, I am No. 9

Then, I become No. 20

So many people is calling the hotline.

And the last times, I was No.4

I didn't hold on the line. At first, I call to make a complaint. And then, i just want to know what No. I am queueing on.

Long time I didn't look at the moon. It looks different in other countries. Tonight is full moon but Moon is falled to pieces.

Hell day.

God! What's on me? I have been to a hell day. Feeling so sad by no reason. Just want to cry. What is going on? I have a bad feeling. Something must happened, I just don't know it yet. Never feel like this before, I can drop tear anytime. Sadness fills my body.

To all my friends, are you guys doing good? All best there. Anything, call me or email me.

The Bucket List

Raining in the midnight, must sleep well tonight.

Just watched THE BUCKET LIST, good movie is worth to watch second times. I am so sleepy, can fall down in a minute.

The first times after watched this movie, I wrote a Bucket List. And now it gone no where.

Okay, tomorrow I gonna write a new Bucket List. A new hope for the life. Yeah~

All I have to do is turn a new page and start over again. What's so difficult? Who says I couldn't do it. I want you to take back of what you said.

Is never too late to be crazy.

Edward wants to meet the most beautiful girl in the world.

Moon wants to meet the most gorgeous guy in the world. >.<

吶喊

每隔一段時間就要來一次很down很down
長大了反而更加不堅強
有時候真的不懂自己在做什麼
這樣對嗎 那樣對嗎
為什麼
為什麼不可以這樣
為什麼不可以那樣
為什麼不可以問為什麼

為什麼這麼煩
為什麼就不能干脆一點

有時候討厭想太多
其實沒有對錯
為什麼要裝忙
其實你不想這樣

其實你喜歡海
不喜歡ktm上大家看你的眼神
其實你沒有很喜歡Mid Valley
只是沒有選擇
其實你不想那麼早出門
可是你不想挑戰惡毒的太陽
其實你不想那麼早回家
可是你必許配合他們
其實你想遊走
可是他們說不行
其實你不想生氣
可是你失控
其實想愛你們多一點
卻發現騙自己很難

其實你不想回來
只不過為了逃避那時的情況
其實你不想停下來
卻還要為別人着想
其實你想走
卻留下來了
你不想幫她的忙
可是卻沒有勇氣為自己而活
你說你很堅強
可是你不是
卻不可以表現懦弱

你說你很抱歉
可是眼神卻很凶悍
現在要的是什麼
已經遺忘了

是不是旅途太長
一些東西被遺忘

回去太難

在瓦解
你說沒有關係
我撐得住

有沒有人懂我

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here, the only thing I can do is what I can do today to make tomorrow different.

Oh... What did I do? I can't hold the temper when going out with you. I don't know why I lost control. I don't want to blame you or give you bad feeling and I really don't know why I do that. I don't want always end up the same.

In Blind Dating, Larry said, you might hear 10 NO to get 1 YES, so the NO is actually help you to get closer to the YES.

How many NO I have heard? How many leave?

I just want to say I am sorry.

如果沒有參與 就沒有被騙

報紙說Mid Valley有鯨魚展 - 小藍鯨
好像很有趣
結果又去Mid Valley
原來只是保麗龍做成的小藍鯨寶寶標本
你看 被騙 其實是雙方面的

那怎麼辦?

I sms to Khim, she has a good weekend. Having dinner at Nicolins', the Italian restaurant that we been to before. She told me that Te papa has giant squid exhibition, as big as queen size bed. I want to see it. Can I go back?

And then I walked to The garden, sit at the couch, and start to write. I was wanted to write Nee a guide book of Wellington, but then I decide to keep by myself. It records all the memory of Welly and New Zealand.

後來在The Garden發現了Food Garden
這裡很棒 人少少 空間很廣 只是冷氣不夠大
選了一個陽光充足的角落
開始寫寫畫畫
不知不覺就過去半個小時
一抬頭 發現12點鐘的方向有四個男生 其中兩個長得還滿好看的
有一個還有點像以前的一個同事
他買了一杯豆奶
同學 我也很喜歡喝豆奶
開始十月芥菜的聯想

突然有一個很好笑的念頭
猜想他們應該在午休
等一下要不要看看他們在哪一間店打工?
也好像很久沒有盲目地跟着帥哥走了
旅行時常常這樣
很好玩

Okay, you move I move.

然後又來了一個蓬萊的廚師
也點了一杯飲料
然後開始睡覺
我就知道他是來借地方休息的!!!
因為我以前也是一樣
不同的是 我睡在圖書館
有時候還會遇到其他廚師
那怎麼辦呢?
大家各睡各的
時間到也各散各的 >.<

寫着畫着
他們走了!
我真的有跟出去
結果還厲害到跟丟了
哈哈 好笨噢

对自己的审判

It is 2rd of April. Time has slipped away. How are you doing? I like to ask this to everyone. If people told me that they are fine, great, I am sincerely happy for them. For a child, happiness is like something you can grab by just open your hand. It will fall down from the sky, right into your little palm. If you think it is the same for an adult, wake up from your sweet dream. It is something that so hard to get, you might get hurt during the process and no guarantee for succeed. Why it is so different? Think this, an adult have to pay full price to get a movie ticket, children got it half price. Okay, now I seem to get it a bit.

I am in the office now, you might wonder how could I have time to type a letter. Might be a long letter. The fact is I have nothing to do. I have done with my part. And I don’t know what else can I do. Therefore, I assume that I have nothing to do. This is killing me, I can stand pressure, hard work, new task, but boring. I don’t know why they offered me this job, simple just because they don’t think I can find a job? And now, I don’t want to know either. My six senses tell me that I am not going to like the answer. After the New Year, many of my friends had resigned and looked for new job. I envy them. All of them.

It has been 4 months and a bit longer. I still can’t accept it. But I don’t know what is dragging me down. Every times the TV programs show something shot at NZ. I can’t stop to feel sad and very sad. At first, I think that I might just miss the place too bad. Last night, there is one travelling show introduced NZ. The places that I been to, the activities that I had tried before. Luckily it didn’t show Wellington. If not, I will have a long cry for the sadness. I can’t continue on watching it. So I turned on the laptop, listened to music. And I wanted to figure out why.

Take a slow, deep breathe, I try to calm down a bit. The more I want to know, the more memories I recall back, the harder I can breathe. There is a radio in the office, so we can listen to music from the FM. Those English songs are repeated playing. One round and again. Some of the familiar songs always bring me back to the life in Welly. I like a song from NZ very much, ALWAYS ON MY MIND by TIKKI.

Since back to here, I do everything to full the life. With a long lists of activities and achievements, I don’t have one minute to waste. Or I just want to keep myself busy so I will have no time to feel sad. Yes, I know that, the truth is so cruel. I am busy, but I am not enjoy it all the time. Those things, which I am willing to do is not that much, and the other parts, I force myself to.

For all those rules and targets, weekend’s plan, I am copying the life in Welly. I wanted to continue the good life there. Not start over again, what I am doing is pushing myself. “It could never be the same.” I told myself, even I can go back to NZ, that will never be the same. I know this, I don’t want to go back either. For what I had done in Welly within the two and half years can never be replaced. Even, I can go back, something must be different.

I still going out every weekend, walking along the Oriental Bay had changed to taking KTM. To here, I only have blamed. I don’t like to stay here. Nowhere is safe in here. The air is dirt, the weather is hot, the people are dangerous. I found no reason to love here. And no life at all. I had back to home, which mean, I have back to the cage. Like a message came up of my mind. “You’re dead now. You can never get out of here. You’re dead now.”

For everything I wanted to do, people will try to stop me. And they try very strictly. Rejection, bad words, every negative things, you can get here, unlimited supply, will never run out. What life can make from this suck situation? What can you ask for? People told me, you shouldn’t ask for this and that, you have no right to require people do that do you. Who you think you are? Ya. Who am I? I am just nobody here. NO freedom.

Learning Japanese is one of my targets. I believe I can manage it in one day. I study it when I free, always. And now, you come to me and say, why don’t you continue your study in Uni and get the certificate of xxxxx then you can be an accountant.

Okay. Here is the question. Why I have to be an accountant? Don’t piss me off. Give me a reason. I had live my life in your way for more than 20 years. Is that still not enough? I know all your decisions are for my own good. But, I growth up. I can tell what is right, what is wrong, what is good, what is bad, what can do, what can’t do. I want to live my life my way. Do I have the right to choose my life? I do right? So, don’t even try to push me again. Or you will regret.

Sometimes, when I stopped. I don’t know what can I do here. This place likes not belong to me. So unfamiliar. So strange. When I drawing something, I stopped. And ask myself, what am I doing? Why are you drawing? Even the thing I like to do, I doubt it, and question myself.

Am I sick? I think I am. Quite serious.

原來鼻子也會流淚

四月一日

不想醒來
可以感覺到鼻子氣管喉嚨都被灰塵粘附着
又來了 今天一定很難過

一整天 不停地打噴嚏流鼻水像流淚
原來鼻子也會流淚

太分明的世界 缺少浪漫
CHLOE說他很不喜歡那種模糊的感覺 很折磨
對呀 我也不喜歡
所以到現在還是一個人過

世界正美麗的鴨子到了紐西蘭
看着熟悉的風景
心也止不住地流淚
還是沒有釋懷
不知不覺 四個月已過去

只是搞不懂為什麼
有關于那個美麗國度的一切
都不能碰觸

傷心的感覺 止不住

愛上一個國家就那麼的折磨了
愛上了一個人會不會更恐怖

今天過得很辛苦

愚人節快樂